The Cold Ride Home
It's the darkest depths;
Of my mind, heart, and body.
Each different aspect.
I'm 18. I'm taken. Ask anything else.
Its cold, dark, and dangerous on the ride home, because my mind's only home is depression. No matter where it roams, no matter where it decides to venture off to, it will return to what it knows, and where it feels familiar, depression's cold grasp.
Hung out with Alyssa. She offered to smoke me out.
Kai is making her ridiculously happy.
I’m happy for them both.
It was nice to have my old friend back.
Last night some girl asked me out.
I told her no.
I soon after stopped talking to her, because the thought of her taking her place, was sickening.
I wake up every morning with my heart still with you.
Then i realize i’m empty.
I can’t tell you good morning, sweetheart.
Like i used to every single day i remembered.
and that alone, sends me into spiraling memories.
Every morning I remember us.
And everything we’ve been through.
I CANT do this.
I need you. Times are harder and harder right now
And I need you by my side.
You’re the only one i trust.
You’re the only one I love.
I can’t do this. Every morning I wake up crying, panicking
Because I can’t talk to you, because you’re not there.
Because I’m alone. No one made me feel safer than you.
No one can. I’m surrounded by all these friends that wanna make it okay
But they can’t. They’re not like you. They don’t understand.
They don’t get it. you do.
No one will replace you.
No one can.
You’re the only one who has meant this much to me.
The only one I want to try this hard for.
The only one I’ve ever tried this hard for.
Please don’t take me out of your life.
Please.
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I just want you back.
